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| Cardinal broadcasting greats Jack Buck (2002) and Mike Shannon |
Here are some entertaining quotes from over the years to help you get through your Friday workday. Enjoy and have a great weekend!
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Referring to Milwaukee's pitcher and catcher, Dave Bush and Damian Miller:
That's an intoxicating battery out there tonight... Bush and Miller!"
Referring to a player with a 10 game hitting streak:
"He's so hot, if you stand too close to him you'll get a suntan."
Referring to the Busch Stadium organist:
"Ernie Hayes is up there playing with his organ.”
Referring to a couple he saw sitting below him at Busch Stadium:
"look at that couple down there! Aren't they a nice lookin couple, so in love!!! I betcha he kisses her on the strikes and she kisses him on the balls!!! heh heh heh"
Referring to the Chicago Cubs
"Chicago always seems to blame all of their problems on animals. For that big fire, they blamed it on a cow. And for the Cubs not winning a World Series in over a hundred years they blame it on a goat. (pause) By the way, they've got a great zoo here in Chicago.."
Referring to playing in the minor leagues:
"Yeah back in the minors you would travel all over the place. you would get to sample all the different foods from each region of the country, but there was never anything better than the thin crust pizza that they served here in st. louis. And i tell you Wayne, nothing washed that down better than a cold cool frosty budweiser."
Referring to Albert Pujols at bat:
"Look at how still Albert holds the bat, its so still you could rest a quarter up on the top of it. Wait wait, you would only want to put a dime or a nickel up there, you wouldnt want to waste a quarter."
Referring to the other team's runner on second, with the Cardinals up by 6 in the 9th
'Look, we're up by six. If he wants to steal third, let him. If he wants to steal home, let him. If he wants to steal from the cookie jar, he can have that, too.'"
• “A hit up the middle right now would be like a nice ham sandwich and a cold, frosty one."
• (After a warning track fly ball) "A couple of strips of bacon at breakfast, and he'd a busted that baby outa here!"
• ..."popped up, into foul territory and out of play. Oh, that ball landed right in a lady's Busch."
• "It's raining like a Chinese fire drill!"
• "He's faster than a chicken being chased by Ronald McDonald!"
• "He's madder than a pig caught under a barnyard gate."
• (About a base stealer) "Sometimes when you feel the urge, you've just gotta go."
• "That foul tip bounced up and caught him right in the groins...and that'll really clear your eyes out!"
• "Things are not always as they appear to be as."
• “I tell you, that same river flows the same way".
• "Our next home stand follows this road trip
• "The right-hander is throwing up (instead of up throwing) in the bullpen."
• "If you're writing a thesis or something, you could finish it in a week or so if you were catching this guy."
• "He ran to second faster than a cat in Chinatown."
• "I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't believed it.'"
• "Boy a frosty cold Budweiser would be great about now"...long pause... then an "aahhh"
• “we've got a day game tomorrow night!"
• "Swing and a long one....get up baby, get up, get up, get up!"
• ‘‘. . . that particular sequel of pitches.''
• ‘‘You can't argue with the weather.''
• ‘‘The Redbirds have theirselves the biggest lead of the night.
• “Aaron Boone has homered in the 13th, and the Reds lead the Brewers 6-3 in the 10th”
• “The Ozarks are a beautiful place this time of year, with all the animals scurrying around, trying to add to their heritage......”
• "The Giants just got a taste of the medicine they've been enjoying all day."
• “The Expos blanked the Braves today, 10 to 2"
• “The wind has switched 360 degrees”
• “We have Rick Ankiel on the mound tonight, pitching on his twenty first birthday. Yes sir folks, this young man, just as of today is old enough to vote!”
• "This big standing room only crowd is settling into their seats."
• After Brian Jordan was hit by a pitch for the 4th time on a single road trip) "He must feel like a Ouija board”
• (About former Cardinal Bernard Gilkey) "He was originally born in University City."
• Referring to Mike Schmidt) "the longtime and soon-to-be Hall of Famer."
• "This game is off to a rather conspicuous start, don't you think, Jack?
• "Well, folks, this game began as a tiny worm and is blossoming into a large cobra."
• About Hideo Nomo) "He's the biggest thing to hit Japan since they dropped that bomb on Nagashima!"
• Broadcasting from New York under a full moon) "I wish you folks back in St. Louis could see this moon."
• On the day before Easter) "I just want to tell everyone Happy Easter, and to our Jewish friends, Happy Hanukkah."
• "Well, he did everything right to get ready for the throw, but if ya ain't got the hose, the water just won't come out."
• "Like Spring makes the rains come, so does the edge of the plate grow."
• "I don't like that play. I've seen it go opposite more often than positive."
• (Referring to a home run by Ted Simmons) "And that's the bread on Simmons' butter."
• I've heard it said that if you know English, Spanish, Italian, and I think it's French, you can go just about anywhere in this world...except for China where they have all those derelicts." after a pause by Joe Buck's suggestion that Mike had meant to say "dialects." Mike's response was, "Yea, dialects!! That's what I mean. But they've got a lot of derelicts too!!"
• During an Eli Marrero at bat, Mike Shannon makes mention that the Cardinals had a lot of Latin players on the team and that "they are a creditable people”
• A couple years back, Mike and Joe were discussing the horrible photographs of players that had been flashed on the screen at another ballpark. Mike's take on the quality of photo selection was, "Some of those guys looked like the picture was taken while they were seeing their first UFO." After several seconds of laughter, Joe added, "As opposed to their second or third."
• "The Dodgers are ahead by 5 runs or 3 runs or in between there somewhere
• "It was raining so hard I thought it was going to stop."
• "this crowd on their feet for the Canadian Star Spangled Banner."
• “You know Jack, the 3-2 count in baseball is just like the ole question in science, Which came first the chicken or the egg.” Jack’s response: “How so?”
• Joe: "Mike, the Cardinals would like to welcome a group of 19 French foreign exchange students in section 382 today." Mike: "Where they from Joe?" Joe: "Uhhh... France... I think."
• As Albert stepped up to the plate, Shannon says "I know what's wrong here...I forgot to get the lucky peanut out!" So he pulls the peanut out of his pocket and sets it out on the table. Within 10 seconds, Albert homered to give the cardinals the lead...Shannon said something like "And the lucky peanut does it again!!!"
• As told by Jack Buck to a friend on the telephone during a game on the 4th of July. Did you hear Shannon, he just announced to Cardinal nation that "the United States is the greatest country in America".
• “Well, the Cardinals, Jack, off to their best start since 1987.”
• Mike Shannon commenting on the field and stands at multipurpose Pro Player Stadium (then Joe Robbie Stadium), in south Florida, home of the Florida Marlins... "This place has a lot of crooks and nannies".
• Mike - "Yeah when he really connects it's just like one of them, ahhhh one of them, Hey! what do you call those mountains that blow up?" Joe - volcanoes Mike - yeah, he is just like a volcano
• when commenting on how well our offense was clicking, he said "These guys are going up to the plate with peanut butter and jelly running out the sides of their mouths."
• "So Joe [Buck], when was the Roman Coliseum built...two, three, four hundred years ago?"
• Shannon, when describing a spectacular catch made by Ron Gant on a Todd Zeile fly ball, said that "Gant made a circus catch. Of course, Zeile is used to that with his wife being in the Olympics."
• "You know, if you can keep Geronimo Pena healthy, you can win the Pulitzer Prize in Health."
• Situation: TV lights were on in the press box, and umpire held up the game until they were turned off.) Shannon: ‘‘The reason you can't do that is the light will get in the fielder's eyes and they'll get hit right between the coconuts.''
• about what elevated Whitey Herzog as a manager: ''The key thing is, he has that photogenic mind.''
• (On Jose Oquendo buying a new house) ''He's going to make his winter home here year-round.''
• ‘‘The fans are kind of quiet right now. They're preserving their injury.''
• ‘‘The Cards have a treacherous one-run lead.''
• (Recalling Clark's homer that beat the Dodgers in the '85 playoffs) ‘‘I remember the concussion of the ball hitting the bat.''
• ‘‘Coleman demonstrated a simulating effort on that play.”
• (1-0 lead at Wrigley Field) ‘‘One run in this ballpark is like a grain of salt in the Sahara Desert.''
• (Cards losing) ‘‘The Cardinals try to mount some mustard and come back.''
• (Line-drive homer) ‘‘He pulvaroused that one.''
• (Coleman called out on strikes) ‘‘He knew he was out when he heard that right hand go up.''
• ‘‘That hit was a crusher. You could see the shoulders and jaws of the Padres dropping to the AstroTurf.''
• ‘‘47,000 is the paid attention tonight.''
• ‘‘They'll be hanging from the roofters at Shea when the Cardinals come to town.''
• (Cards-Cubs series at Wrigley) ‘‘Even the standing-room only seats have been sold.''
• (Cards-Cubs rivalry) ‘‘It doesn't matter if they're home or away, or vice versa.''
• ‘‘For Ozzie Smith to hit a ball to the wall is something that's stanchible and warranted.''
• (On Cincinnati's lineup) ‘‘They have six guys in their lineup who with one swing of the bat can send you into the L locker.''
• (Someone out stealing after single) ‘‘The potential leadoff single is erased.''
• (Ozzie batting in bottom of 10th) ‘‘He could endear yet more fans into his fold.''
• ‘‘Mike Schmidt nursed Dayley for a one-out walk.''
• ‘‘The ever-dangerous Mike Schmidt is posed on deck.''
• (After Coleman had stolen two bases and made a running catch) ‘‘It must be a great zealous feeling to be able to run like that.''
• (Ticket promo for upcoming series) ‘‘You can't buy these tickets. They only go on sale the day of the game.''
• (Chris Speier) ‘‘No matter what uniform he downs he's always tough on the Cardinals.''
• (He names a Mr. and Mrs. So and So and then says): ‘‘We'd like to extend best wishes to them on their most recent tragedy.'' (Then goes on to talk about death of someone they knew.)
• (Herzog juggling lineups) ‘‘How'd you like to be a bug inside Whitey Herzog's head this week?''
• ‘It's a shame they waste that youth on the young.''
• ‘‘I can guarantee that there is a lot more thinking going on right now under blue caps than under red caps.''
• ‘‘You talk about some fans. We got one-hundred thousand of 'em here today.''
• (About Herzog as a player) ‘‘He never got the notification he deserved.''
• (Wallach) ‘‘He set a lot of college records as a collegian.''
• ‘‘Texas whitewashed Cleveland 11-3.''
• (In a salute to Jack Buck; talking about his descriptive style) ‘‘You can hear that in his broadcasting if you have a keen eye.''
• ‘He's bringing the ball up there 95 mph or better. It's powder river. You like fastballs -- munch on this.''
• Shannon: ‘‘Winning streaks in Pittsburgh have been about as common as 600-acre lakes in the middle of the Sahara Desert.'' Jay Randolph: ‘‘You mean, like an oasis.'' Shannon: ‘‘Yeah, well, that's what they're having here in Pittsburgh.''"Well, that's the life of a reliever. It's either a mountain or a valley, there's no in-between. You either get all the glory or all the...goat hair.”
• After Albert Pujols got the game winning hit against Pittsburgh this past July 26, he said: “He’s as happy as if he just received his first bicycle from Santa Claus on Christmas Morning!!”
• You don't kick that dog as he's sleeping on the porch, you don't step on his tail, you just walk on by. If you step on his tail, he might jump up and bite you on the ankle or the kneecap
• (after Jason Isringhausen lost command of the strike zone) Izzy's like a wild hare in March, running all over the lot!
• Well, no one’s perfect. Only one guy was ever perfect, Jack, and they nailed him to a tree!
• (Speaking about a Latino player from the island of Puerto Rico, giving out his background information.) "He hails from the native island of Puerto Rico (pause) Puerto Rico is an island isn't it?.....Well just try swimming off of it...I guess you'll find out.
• (During a game in Montreal) This game is moving along pretty quick, it must have something to do with the exchange rate.
• (After a Pujols base hit) Albert ripped in to that pitch the way the Cookie Monster rips into cookies. Atta baby, Albert
- He snagged that out of the stands like he was reaching for a Frosty cold Budweiser.
- This guy is a free swinger. He'll swing at anything. You could throw a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at him and he would take a swing"
- this guy's biggest problem is consistency. Sometimes he's consistent and sometimes he's not
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- Ole Abner has done it again (whenever there is an exciting or close game)
- (Referring to the Braves sweep of the Nats this week) "Yeah, the Braves were all over the Nationals just like kissin cousins."
- Referring Friday night he referred to LA Dodger sound system "It feels like 17,000 megacycles or whatever you call it (decibals) you can feel it verberating in your chest cavity, Don't you agree Wayne?" long pause
- After the Cardinals shut out the Cubs, “The Cubs couldn’t a hit the rear end of an elephant with a shovel
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